Relationship Counselling
Sometimes we lose the ability to communicate with each other. We know the other person so well, we believe they think and feel just like us - but they don't.
Just like you, they are unique. Learn how to talk to each other again with Relationship Counselling.
Why do relationships break down?
The Beginning of a New Relationship
There is nothing more exciting than being in a new relationship – sparks fly everywhere, you talk all night on the phone, send them a random "I love you" text, think about them 24/7, and hold hands wherever you go. If only those feelings of euphoria could last forever, but in practicality, that is the honeymoon phase, which typically only lasts a few months.
It's not to say that love stops there, or you still can't get those butterfly feelings, but the more realistic phase comes after the honeymoon phase, such as what you once thought cute or funny may now be annoying. Still, your love becomes more profound, you form a more intimate companionship, and your relationship grows more deeply. However, it takes dedication and perseverance to maintain a healthy relationship.
Statistics of Divorce in Australia
Australian studies have revealed that relationships have fallen to the wayside, and divorce rates have risen since 1975. On average, over 50,000 couples divorce annually, which essentially is 2 out of 1,000 cases. These rates increase after the first year of marriage, with a higher percentage at four years and peaking after 12 years.
How Stress and Anxiety Affect Our Communication
Although stress and anxiety are not the direct cause of a breakdown or divorce, it increases the likelihood of relationships and marital problems. For example, the more responsibility, such as a demanding career or raising a family, the greater the stressors, thus negatively impacting the relationship.
Unless these stressors are dealt with properly, they can lead to anger, frustration, and resentment, creating a communication barrier. Even further, it may create conflict, lack of intimacy, and decreased time spent together as a couple, eventually leading to the contemplation of divorce.
Losing the Ability to Talk Respectively to Our Partners
When partners can no longer communicate effectively, they become like strangers to one another. Talking turns to texting and the meaningful conversation turns into simple, bland ones. You are now more like roommates than partners.
We can't mind-read each other's thoughts and feelings in relationships. Therefore, we won't achieve positive results if we don't express our emotions openly. What ends up happening is partners feel ignored, misunderstood, and stop talking, which eventually leads to arguing.
Arguments may turn to criticism, screaming matches, and, unfortunately, unkind words that we regret later and can't take back. This continued communication makes for an unhealthy atmosphere.
When Talking Becomes Arguing and Arguing Becomes Violence
Most relationships aren't easy to predict and typically don't start with violence. Still, some become toxic and dangerous through time and require immediate treatment.
When we speak of violence or abuse, we often think of the physical act of harming someone. However, that is only one form, as individuals can also be emotionally, mentally, and psychologically abused, which is no less harmful.
Risk factors may include:
· Jealousy and possessiveness
· Accusing you of cheating
· Blaming or scapegoating
· Degrading you in public
· Isolating you from others
· Manipulating
· Insulting
· Intimidating
· Controlling
· Bullying
Awareness of warning signs is essential to prevent the behavior from escalating.
How Raising Children Can Break Down the Parental Relationship
While raising a family can be one of the most rewarding experiences, it can also be a challenging time within the parental relationship, as we often aren't prepared for unexpected changes.
Between raising families, careers, running errands, extracurricular activities, and little sleep, it's no wonder we're exhausted. Therefore, the less time a couple has for each other, emotionally and intimately, the more it creates significant issues in the relationship.
Let's not forget about other stressors that contribute to relational problems, such as the cost of raising a family, one parent caretaking more than the other, or different parenting styles.
Seeking Relationship Counselling
No two people are alike, and challenges arise in various ways. Therefore, it's not uncommon for even the occasional healthy arguments to occur. However, when conflict becomes too stressful and jeopardises the relationship, seeking counselling can help you learn how to deal with it more healthily.
You don't have to wait to attend counselling until it has wreaked havoc in your life and become a major event. Just as we must treat our physical health, emotional health is just as important. Therefore, don't wait until your relationship has reached a breaking point.
Different Counselling Methods for Couples
While you may not know where to begin when you walk through your counsellor's door, they will listen to what you both have to say to figure out what therapeutic methods will benefit your relationship the most and guide you towards a better and brighter future.
Relationship Counselling Works: We Use 3 Methods
Psychodynamic Method
Every individual entering a new relationship comes with unique and past experiences that, if left untreated, cause present issues. Therefore, the counsellor will work with you on increasing your awareness to create the necessary changes.
Behavioural Method
How we think or behave is influenced by our environment. Therefore, if there is stress in the home, it negatively impacts the relationship. So, along with your counsellor, you will work on changing these behavioural patterns.
Narrative Method
This method entails telling your story to the counsellor, who will then work with you as a couple to help rewrite the unfavourable events in your relationship. This technique will teach you both that your problems don't define who you are.
Things Can Get Better
It's often difficult to see the light while amid stress. Even the most dedicated and involved relationships can still be challenging. However, your relationship can significantly improve through relationship counselling by teaching you practical communication skills. You will build a sense of honesty, trust, and security together, thus increasing positive emotions and decreasing stress.
Please don't wait to seek therapy until your relationship has fallen apart. Sami can provide you with the resources needed in couples counselling, and help pave the way for you and your partner. Salvaging your relationship takes hard work, commitment, understanding, and mutual respect, but it is doable.
FAQs
Relationship Counselling
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Couples (or relationship) counselling is a type of psychotherapy in which a therapist helps people involved in a romantic or committed relationship gain objective insight into their relationship. This insight is aimed towards resolve conflict and improve relationship fulfilment through therapeutic interventions.
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Yes, it is. Any kind of couples therapy can be for marriage, de-facto, new relationships and long-term. A relationship is a bond between two people that care deeply for one another.
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Well, that depends on you. If you don’t want to imagine life without this other person and believe that there is a willingness for both of you to adapt and change, then yes this is for you. You will be given insight into the areas that are breaking down between you and tools to move forward to repair these areas.
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Although the practice is very dependent on Sami’s interaction with the couple, it generally involves:
• A focus on a specific problem (i.e., sexual difficulties, cheating, intimacy, jealousy)
• Treating both the relationship and each individual separately
• Solution-focused, change-oriented interventions early on in treatment
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We aim to provide uncomplicated affordable therapy for everyone, so we have a range of individual, couples’ sessions and discounted packages available:
Individual Counselling
60 minute sessions $80.00 – This is for one person in the couple
45 minute sessions $65.00 – This is for one person in the couple
Couples Counselling
60 minute sessions $120 - This is for both people to attend together
Package 1 - $450
2 x 45 min one-on-one sessions - to set the scene (Week 1) – One partner to attend and a suitable time and date will be allocated for your partner at the end of your first session.
3 x 60 mins couple sessions - to build a foundation and premise moving forward (Week 2, 3 & 4)
Package 2 - $330
3 x 60 minute couple sessions - to build a foundation and premise moving forward. The remaining two sessions will be locked in at the end of your first session.
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Services offered using this counselling service are not covered by health insurance, Medicare or Mental Health Plans.
Please note that The Counselher offers uncomplicated affordable pricing options which are typically comparable with the co-pays gap of Medicare. The difference is you can book in immediately without a 6-week wait and a personal loan.
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Please don't wait to seek therapy until your relationship has fallen apart. Sami can provide you with the resources needed in couples counselling and help pave the way for you and your partner.
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Salvaging your relationship takes hard work, commitment, understanding, and mutual respect, but it is achievable. What are you willing to do?
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Package 1 discount package recommends the best possible number of sessions however it really is up to you. What you take from the sessions and put into action is how much you will get out of it.
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The million-dollar question, right? Well, the real question here is to ask yourself is your relationship worth saving? Ask yourself why?
If there is violence, I would suggest no. If there is any kind of abuse, my answer would still be no. Not until the abuser at least seeks help.
It's often difficult to see the light while amid stress. Even the most dedicated and involved relationships can still be challenging. However, your relationship can significantly improve through counselling by teaching you practical communication skills. You will build a sense of honesty, trust, and security together, thus increasing positive emotions and decreasing stress.