When Grief Is Dismissed: Why Losing a Pet Hurts More Than People Expect

Some might say, “It’s just a dog,” or “You’ll get another pet.” But if you’ve loved and lost an animal, you know the grief is real - and sometimes more overwhelming than you expected.

In this blog, we’re giving space to that pain. We’ll unpack why pet bereavement can be so intense, why it’s often dismissed, and how pet bereavement counselling can support healing when the world doesn’t quite understand.

The Problem with Dismissed Grief

When your pain is minimised or invalidated, it becomes what’s known as disenfranchised grief - grief that isn’t recognised by society. This can lead to:

• Suppressed emotions or delayed mourning

• Isolation from others who don’t understand

• Guilt for feeling “too upset”

• Anxiety or depression, especially if grief is unprocessed

You don’t need permission to grieve deeply. Your pain is valid.

Why Pet Grief Can Feel So Devastating

Grieving the loss of a pet isn't “less than” grieving a human. It’s simply different - and in some ways, more complicated. Here’s why:

1. Unconditional Love
Pets don’t judge. They don’t hold grudges. They show up every day with loyalty and affection, even when we’re not at our best. That kind of bond is rare - and when it’s gone, the absence is enormous.

2. Everyday Presence
Pets are woven into the fabric of daily life. They greet us at the door, sit beside us on the couch, sleep at our feet. When they’re gone, it’s not just a person you miss - it’s dozens of tiny routines and moments that made up your day.

3. Safe Emotional Outlet
Many people confide in pets in ways they don’t with humans. Losing that source of comfort can leave you feeling emotionally exposed.

4. Lack of Social Recognition
Society has rituals for human loss - funerals, sympathy cards, bereavement leave. But losing a pet often brings no such acknowledgment, which can make the grief feel invisible or even shameful.

Signs You May Be Struggling After Pet Loss

Everyone processes loss differently, but here are some signs you may need extra support:

• Persistent sadness or crying spells weeks after the loss

• Changes in sleep or appetite

• Difficulty focusing or completing tasks

• Avoidance of places or activities that remind you of your pet

• Feeling misunderstood by friends or family

If any of these sound familiar, pet bereavement counselling offers a space to talk, process, and begin healing.

What Healing Can Look Like

Grief doesn’t have a finish line. But over time, the sharpness can soften - and the love can remain. Here are some ways people begin to process pet loss:

• Creating a Memorial: Whether it’s a photo wall, a dedicated journal, or planting something in their honour, having a physical tribute can help you stay connected.

• Allowing the Sadness: Let yourself cry. Let yourself remember. Suppressing the pain won’t make it go away - it only prolongs it.

• Talking About Your Pet: Share stories with people who “get it.” Avoid those who minimise your experience.

• Seeking Professional Support: A pet loss therapist can help you understand your grief and find meaning in your bond.

Finding Help for Pet Bereavement

Sometimes, the loss of a pet can awaken other unprocessed grief - such as the death of a loved one or a major life change. If your emotions feel “bigger” than the situation seems to warrant, there may be more beneath the surface. That’s okay. Our minds don’t compartmentalise grief the way we want them to.

If you feel like you could benefit from counselling, contact Sami or book a session using the button below.