From Stability to the Unknown: Why Change Triggers Anxiety
Change is one of the few constants in life — yet it remains one of the hardest things to navigate. Even when a change is positive or long-awaited, it can stir up anxiety, uncertainty, and emotional turbulence. If you’ve ever wondered why you feel anxious during transitions, even when you wanted the change, you’re not alone. The discomfort doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision. It means you’re human, adjusting to something unfamiliar.
Why Change Feels So Unsettling
At its core, change disrupts what your mind is designed to love: predictability.
Familiar routines — even boring ones — give your brain a sense of stability. You know what to expect, where to go, how things work, and who you are within that context.
When life shifts, even in a good way, your sense of grounding wobbles. Suddenly, the questions emerge:
What if I’m not ready?
What if I can’t handle this?
What if things go wrong?
Who am I in this new version of my life?
These thoughts don’t reflect failure — they reflect adjustment. Transition is a psychological process as much as it is a practical one.
The Brain’s Natural Response to the Unknown
The brain is wired to treat uncertainty as potential danger. When something unfamiliar appears — a new environment, expectation, responsibility, or identity — your nervous system automatically heightens its alertness.
This can look like:
Restlessness or irritability
Overthinking
Sleep disruptions
Tightness in the chest or jaw
Feeling “on edge” or overly emotional
Your brain isn’t trying to sabotage you. It’s trying to protect you by staying alert until it understands the new terrain.
When Anxiety Doesn’t Match the Situation
One of the most confusing parts of change-related anxiety is that it often doesn’t match the circumstances. You can feel panicked during a transition you’re excited about, overwhelmed about an opportunity you worked hard for, or sad during a change you initiated.
This emotional mismatch often leads to guilt or self-criticism:
Why am I like this?
I should be grateful.
Normal people can handle this — why can’t I?
But change triggers a form of emotional disorientation. You’re stepping into unfamiliar territory without the mental “map” you used to rely on. Anxiety is simply the feeling of being in between what you knew and what you don’t yet understand.
The “In-Between” Stage: Where Most People Struggle
Transitions aren’t a single moment — they’re a process with three key stages:
The Ending: Letting go of what was familiar
The Neutral Zone: The confusing period between old and new
The New Beginning: When life starts to feel settled again
It’s the second stage — the neutral zone — where anxiety peaks.
You’re not who you were before, but you’re not fully grounded in the new version of your life either. It’s unsettling, slow, and emotionally messy.
Most people don’t struggle with change — they struggle with uncertainty.
Finding Help for Life Transitions
If change is stirring up anxiety, nothing is wrong with you. You are not “bad at coping,” and you haven’t made a mistake. You’re simply adjusting — mentally, emotionally, and physically — to a new chapter of your life.
With the right support, transitions become less frightening and more meaningful.
If you feel like you could benefit from counselling, contact Sami or book a session using the button below.
